They say that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  I lost what I thought was a lifetime friend today.  Well, probably a few days ago, but it really feels final today.  All because of something someone said that wasn't even true. Something that the friend thinks I did that I didn't.  Of course I was not given the chance to know what was said, or even know what was going on before I got cut out of their life forever....just like that.   I guess that goes to show that my friendship meant nothing to this person...that I meant nothing to this person that supposedly cared about me. I can't tell you how much it hurts that someone who knows me would think so little of me and cut me out of their life so easily.  I'll never understand how someone can just throw away years of friendship in an instant. *sigh*
Oh...and still unemployed. Gotta love my life.

4th of July was a really nice day....spent the afternoon at Fabbioli winery w/friends and then we all went over to Ida Lee for a picnic dinner, music and then fireworks after dark...

Last night was a beautiful night, so I went for a long walk...and along the way saw tons of fireflies! It reminded me of my childhood when I would come down from MA to visit my Grandma, Grandpa who lived in Bethesda, MD.  My cousin and I would take glass jars and catch fireflies, and put a little grass in there, poke holes in the jar tops,  and then bring them into our rooms at night and watch them light up the rooms with their lights.  Ahh....to be a kid again.

Yesterday I completed my 4th 5K in 4 months....I'm still on track for doing 1 a month.  My official time was 46:54 which is a 15:06 mile pace. I had really hoped to beat my best time and be under 44 minutes...but a couple of things worked against me....
1) It was really crowded at the beginning and there were some spots where you just had to wait to get through
2) this was the first 5K where a big chunk of the trail was through the woods.  Need to get used to that! 
3) More hills definitely slows you down...I need to work on doing hills too.
But overall it was a fun race....VERY supportive group of people (they had an officially "Hugger" at the end of the race to congratulate you on finishing!), the pink flamingos were a nice touch,  the music was great, and although I didn't get a cool t-shirt, I got a nice bag, some cool socks, and a robe (not sure why a robe, but oh well)! I look forward to doing this one again next year!! 

"They" say that everything happens in 3s....so apparently this is my week.  First I found out that my Dog has to have surgery to remove a cyst (it's benign, but still bothering her to the point of chewing off all the fur around it and constantly licking it and its not getting any smaller, so the vet said its time to get rid of it).  That surgery will cost around $1,000.  Then I had a gas leak in my house that required a late night visit from Washington Gas, who found the leak quickly, and told me to get a plumber (to the tune of $189) to replace the line between my dryer and the gas line.  Then today I got rejected from the company I interviewed with a few weeks ago, as well as Northrup Grumman for a position I had had a phone interview for, but apparently the hiring manager wasn't interested in bringing me in for an interview.  Seriously?? Isn't that enough for one week? I'm just wondering what else is gonna go wrong...but I hope I'm done! I've had my 3 bad things...now I'm ready for 3 good things! Bring it on!!! I need it! 

I just "Finished" my 3rd 5K in as many months...I'm still on track for doing 1 a month....IF you count todays.  I say IF because I'm not really sure if I actually went 5K on account of me following the girl in front of me.  I was using her as my pacer....and just keeping my eye on her and making sure I didn't get too far behind...and soon realized that she had stopped.  Somehow she had not seen the runners in front of her turn left at the Green Arrow that was posted on a Tree on the trail.....and we ended up way off course!  So I turned around, went back, found my way back to the trail, and headed back...but I have no idea if the distance I went off track was the same as the distance I missed....I don't think so, but oh well.  So I have no idea of what my REAL time was or my real distance for that matter!! 

Next month I'll remember to keep my eye out for the course signs instead of just following the chick in front of me!! ;-) 

I haven't been able to post in a while because it seems like my mind is going in 100 different directions and I can't settle on what I want to write about....
Without going into gory details....lets just say I'm having a rough time. I have a hard time  talking about it because it seems so ridiculous in light of other peoples' problems, not to mention its the same story day in and day out...so instead I'll just post the lyrics to this song that I was recently introduced to that seems to sum it up well.

Going through Hell
Rodney Atkins

Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Says I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons
Breathing fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, yeah

But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been dragginig for so long
You're on your knees
You maight as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
Yeah, you might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there.

Did my 2nd 5K today and managed to beat my time by over 3 minutes despite some knee pain!! 44:19 was my time!!! I couldn't believe it!! Unfortunately my 5K buddy was unable to join me, but he was kind enough to still show up early in the AM and cheer me across the finish line....I just hope he doesn't post the pic he took w/his camera phone! lol 
Now lets hope my knees don't make me pay for this for the week to come!! 

Last weekend me and a few friends went on our annual Wine Weekend Getaway....but this time, instead of going to Charlottesville (where we've gone for the past 2 years), we headed north to the Fingerlakes region of NY. We had a Blast!!! We left on Thursday and spent the day driving up there....with a stop at a casino and a much longer than anticipated stop at a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Wilkes-Barre PA (Daniela has decided she never wants to stop in that town again!).  We finally arrived at our B&B called Springside Inn in Auburn, NY in the early evening....checked into the Holland House (a whole separate house we had to ourselves), and went in search of food.....the town was dead.  We stocked up on munchies at a gas station, but the boys (Ted and Jeff) decided they wanted a real meal, so they followed a guy they met at the gas station to the one burger joint that was open at 11pm.  We finally got back to the house and stayed up late just talking and relaxing, knowing we had 2 days of wineries ahead. 
On Friday we headed out to some of the Cayuga Lake wineries.  First stop was Cobblestone....beautiful views of the lakes, nice variety of wines. They have an award winning Cab. Franc, Merlot, Reisling and Seyval...Reislings we discovered later, seem to be the speciality of the area...in addition a sweet wine called Vignoles. Next stop was Knapp winery...this place was fantastic!!! We had the best wine pourer ever...his name was Matt and he was this hillarious older man who had a rhyme for ever wine we tried that would describe the wine! The variety was great too...they had a ton of different wines...from dry whites to brandys.  They had an incredible port, as well as a Limencello that I think most of us bought.  Can't wait to make drinks w/that! :) They also had a restaurant next door that had a great menu, but we did not eat there as we were anxious to move on to the next winery.  We then continued on to Swedish Hill...which was OK, but not very notable.  Our last stop was a place called 3 Brothers...which was actually 3 different wineries AND a brewery....all in one spot!! The first winery of the 3 Brothers was called Stoney Lonesome (For those who appreciate the finer things in life)...and was a traditional type winery specializing in dry reds.  The next winery, right across the driveway was called Passion Feet (for those who live life with laughter & abandon)...this place had funky red and grey striped walls, and the wines were a bit sweeter..then we crossed over to the final winery called Rogue Hollow (for those who have a lot more fun in a dive bar), and the only way I can describe this place is like a scene out of Prirates of the Caribean...it was very cool! The last stop on the property was the Barley Yards brewing company....for beer....pretty small, but good selection of beers, including root beer!  After all these wines, we were starving so we went to a recommended restaurant nearby called Danas and enjoyed a delicious dinner...then we headed back to our Inn and played games and drank late into the night. 
Saturday we were off again....this time in a Limo driven by Terry so Ted didn't have to drive! We started out on the Seneca Lake wineries...first stop was Wagner Vineyards and Brewery.  They had a really good reslieng, cab franc and ice wine.  It is interesting to note here that there are several wineries in the area that do both wine and beer, kind of different than you find around here. The winery had a unique architecture and was right on the lake....would be a perfect place to hang out for a day, but we had to move on.  We then had to stop at Penguin Bay in homage to Clyde...and because they specialized in champagnes and sparkling wines....it was a small, but nice stop.  Then we headed to a winery called Rasta Ranch Winery....again, a winery unlike we'd ever seen! It was small and very Rasta! It was an experience, and we could have drank all day there b/c our pourer just kept pouring....but I can't say that I'd recommend any of their wines! We did have to drag the boys out of there....so we could hit one more winery of the day.  Hazlitt....by this time we were pretty lit...so my memories of the place are kind of fuzzy....but it was a nice winery from what I recall!!  After this we had to head home as our time w/the limo was up....we enjoyed some time on our patio and then headed to dinner at the inn, which was a delicious 3 course meal! 
Sunday we packed up and headed home....exhausted, hung over, but having had a fantastic time!!  Can't wait to do it again next year!! I highly recommend the area as there are a TON of wineries to visit....and many of them are so unique and different than what you see in the NOVA area.

I saw a commercial for this class on the Travel Channel.  I soo wish I could take this 4 day class!!! Unfortunately it is a mortgage payment, thus the house comes first...www.travelchannel.com/Academy/Academy_Home

Sing it Jimmy!!! 

So....for the 3rd time in the past 3 years, I got laid off this past week. Not that I'm gonna miss the job.  I will only miss the paycheck.    I'm beginning to think that the universe is telling me I should get out of HR.  Something I've been contemplating for a while...but have not had the guts or the means to do so.  Now I may not have a choice.  My resume looks horrible, and my self-esteem has taken a beating which I'm sure shows when I interview and talk to recruiters.
So while I try to regroup, I'm going to likely work PT at a local vineyard as a pourer....I figure it'll be a way to network, possibly check out events planning as a possible career change, and will get me a discount on wine which I desprately need right now!! ;-) 

Onwards and upwards....to see what the next chapter has in store...

My goal was to finish the 5K yesterday in under an hour and my official time was 47:57! Way better than I expected to do, especially considering it was a little chilly and drizzly.  I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself and am feeling good, despite some painful shin splints and other various aches and pains that I expect will disappear quickly. Thanks to T for getting me to sign up for this....and to M for encouraging me at the the finish line!  The next 5K will be in April sometime....and I hope to be able to do as well, if not better next time!! (this is a pic of us after finishing)

So I have officially signed up to participate in a 5K this weekend on W&OD Trail!!  I have done 5Ks in the past to raise money for JDRF, but that was for charity.  This feels more 'official' as I had to pay to participate, I get a bib and a timing chip and all that good stuff!! For those of you whose jaws are on the floor right now, pick them up.....I'm NOT running the whole thing (yet!).....but that is a goal for this year! I hope this will be the first of many 5Ks and that eventually I will be running them from start to finish.  For this one though....I just hope to be done in under an hour! The weather forecast is not looking good, so I'm not sure if that will help (in wanting to get out of the rain ASAP) or hinder (not wanting to fall on my ass after slipping).....so we'll see! I'll report back after Saturday and let you all know how it goes! 

I was talking to a friend the other night about his experience climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. He was unable to reach the top due to altitude sickness, and I was surprised to hear that he got to a point where he just stopped and said "I'm done" as he's usually the type to finish no matter what. He said he felt he did not need to push himself beyond what his body was willing to do and he was ok with it. He felt good about his decision. It got me thinking about having the ability to know when you are done with something, whether its a relationship, job, hike, writing assignment, or anything else for that matter. I realized that although a lot of times I feel like I'm done, I don't actually stop at that point, even if I want to. I think we've all been taught/conditioned to "finish what you start" no matter what, but wouldn't it be nice if we could recognize that moment of 'done-ness' in different aspects of our lives and just be done? I guess in some cases it wouldn't be a good idea, but in many others it would....just something to think about.

I was having an interesting conversation with a friend last night about Banks...and how they really screw us consumers over, especially when we're already down. For example: You're broke, no money in your account, and someone tries to deposit a check against it and puts you into overdraft. Well, not only do you not have the money to cover the check, but now they're going to charge you another $35 to tell the check depositer that you don't have the money? Do they really think they can get water from a stone? Apparently, because they do..somehow. Then, to make matters worse, they wait about 3 days and then try to deposit it AGAIN!!! and charge you another $35 overdraft fee! Does it really COST Them anything to deny a check deposit? Is there some fee that they have to pay? Does it take their $12/hr teller 2 hours to process?? Then where is all that money going that we end up paying in fees? Certainly they aren't using it to bailout their debt!
Oh, and if you don't pay your credit card on time because you don't have the money, they decide that they may as well charge you even more money (that you dont have) by increasing your interest rate from 8% to 25%! WTF?! Again....punishing those that are already having problems. As it was discussed....its the shit rolling down hill. I don't know why this happens, but it sure is frustrating to think about and deal with when you're already broke!

You know how sometimes when you're driving somewhere and you know the route so well you can kind of space out and not even really think...and then all of the sudden you realize you've arrived at your destination and you don't even really remember the trip? Lately I feel like that has been happening with my life in general....that I'm just going through the motions as I know I'm supposed to every day and the days are just passing me by and all the sudden, a month has gone by and I haven't really realized it. Its not that I'm particularly happy or sad....I feel that I'm just existing and going through the motions. I wonder if anyone else ever feels like this...or am I the only one? I feel like the Dunkin Donuts guy sometimes..."its time to make the donuts"....day in and day out. I guess that's why I've been planning vacations lately....I need something fun and different and exciting!! (note to friends...this does not in any way mean that I don't think you're not fun and exciting!) :)

I've had several people recently mention "Passion" when talking about my desire to do something different with my life career wise. I've been thinking about what this means...to follow your passion. I've also been trying to figure out if I HAVE a passion (other than wine that is). ;) I am envious of people who grow up knowing what their passion is and follow it (i.e. music, flying, sports, arts, acting, technology, etc). When I think back to my childhood, I remember that my best friend and I had planned to be flight attendants so that we could travel the world for free. I guess I did have a passion back then even though I never would have recognized it as such. I've always loved to travel, even as a kid, when it was a 10 hour drive squeezed in the backseat of my Moms Chevy Citation that had no air conditioning in the middle of summer with my sister! There is that excitement of going somewhere and not knowing what adventures are in store...the anticipation of just being somewhere different from home, even if you've been there before, that I just love. Always have, always will. I guess the thing is I never really thought, until now, that I could do it as a living, since I forgot/gave up on the flight attendant 'dream' probably in high school. Even now, I'm not sure how to do it....but I'm thinking about it, exploring the possibilities...and dreaming again. I think the world would be a much better place if we could all just get paid for doing what we love. In the meantime, I try to be grateful for every paycheck I get in this economy.

What's your passion?

History was made yesterday as we watched MLKs Dream come true by inaugurating our 44th President, Barack Obama.  I have never been one interested in watching inaugurations, but I was literally glued to the TV all day yesterday and was moved to tears a few times with the overwhelming enormity of what was happening.  It was a great day for the United States and hopefully the beginning of a lot of repair work and healing.
Congratulations Mr. President! 

So I keep getting suggestions from various sources that I should be doing something more creative as my job.  Problem is, I have no idea what that is!?  Is it party planning? photography? something else I haven't even thought of?  Even if/when I figure out WHAT it is....then I have to figure out HOW....

A friend sent me a perfectly timed email today that I thought I'd post here.  I'm going to try and refer to it often and encourage you to do so as well! 

40 Tips for a Better Life - 2009

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning, complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to _____ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants. Eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime .
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince & dinner like a college kid w/a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!)
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Please Forward this (you don't really have to!)

May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door!